my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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