Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
