i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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