Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
