i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
