im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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