dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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