The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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