Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
