Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
