I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
