how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
