Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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