Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
