I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
home. puking in laundry basket.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
