new low.... made out with someone while peeing
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
