woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
