just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think your dad took our porno
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
