Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
