he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
