I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
