I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
