Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
