Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
