I skipped work to stalk him.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize