I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
