have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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