well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
