When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hippo gnu deer
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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