I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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