found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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