There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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