I just made out with a guy for $7.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
