who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
