he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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