Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Quick, to the slutcave!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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