It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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