I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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