just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you had me at cake vodka
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
