you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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