Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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