Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
