my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
