you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
