the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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