One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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