census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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