I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Every concussion has its silver lining
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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