RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish i was in the wii world.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
