he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
