Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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