erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
