literally had 100 drinks last night.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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