Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
