she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
