Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
