i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
