i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
