haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
